Home Alone

Maybe I should have titled this post "Crew Bean goes to school." But the fact that he has gone to school means that I am now home alone. And I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Crew is my crazy and charming and boisterous child. Who is sometimes shy. This last part generally throws us for a loop because we're used to his other qualities. So when he stoically sat in his new kindergarten seat, nerves radiating, I thought.... "No. This is not right. Do not cry, do not cry, do not cry." And then his teacher hugged me and it was almost too much. But I held it together.

Well, now I'm home alone. And I don't have to hold it together. Where, oh where did my chubby cheeked baby go? This one...

That's where Bean came from. Because he was just a little butter bean. He's also been called Squishy Bear. He was so deliciously squishy.

But he has just turned six. And he has just started kindergarten. And he is no longer squishy. (Though he'll always be my bean.) Time, you are nonsense.

My eyes are leaking.


I tried to document this morning to the best of my abilities. But my subjects are annoyed by incessant picture taking. Here's what we wound up with.

 I wanted to pray with them in the car before we walked in. Crew told me to keep it short.

You can see in this last picture above that my second grader is also nervous. I know it's not something I should, or even could, fix. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to. I'll pray all day long for you, boys. (And since you're not here, Crew, I can pray as long as I want to.)

Cutler wanted to go to his class first. And his sweet teacher gave him the biggest of hugs. (God's mercies and great teachers... what a winning combo.) He walked in confidently after that.

I'm not sure how I have a second grader. Want to see what I posted on this exact day 8 years ago?

I'm mean, if I'm going to be home alone with all my emotions, I might as well do it big.

Another great thing about our school (and God's mercies), we have great friends. And both boys were able to walk in with a friend.

And then Crew and I entered his classroom and our lives changed forever. (I get to be dramatic today.)

And of course, we had to lighten the mood. This is the Crew I know well.

And I'm sure this is the Crew his teacher will have in no time. Maybe I should add her to my prayers.

Jeremy, we missed you. But we appreciate your hard work. Bright side, you get to just look at the pictures now instead of posing in all of them. (I know you would have been annoyed too.)

If any of you need me, I'll just be here in this quiet house. Home. Alone. (Sniff, sniff.)